Respect, like, then love.

I am not from a family who practices or believes in "arranged marriages" BUT the passion of the parents for their son/daughter (reasoning) intrigues me.  Briefly, from what I understand, its not all about money and status.  It is also about respect for each other.  I read that "they" believe that two people must respect each other first.  Living for each other, not just me me me.  After the couple learns respect (a kind of caring), then "like" can happen.  Only after respect and like, can love evolve.

I use this idea when I am experiencing a struggle (adapting to changes due to disability):  Recently, I was blessed with a new motorized wheelchair.  My older one was not dead yet but needed to retire soon, before it might give up and leave me at the curb  :(

Due to needed modifications, my chair seat is too high from the floor.  I have difficulties getting in and out safely.  I am only 5 foot tall and my legs are just not long enough, for the new chair.

I had to find a way in which to psychologically approach this wonderful gift (new chair), as I work toward solutions.  So I used the "arranged marriage (the chair was arranged for me)," idea to make this work.

RESPECT:  I looked at the chair with respect.  I am grateful for the wheels that allow me to have independence.  They are my legs.

LIKE:  I looked for everything that I liked about the chair.  Number one is that it is in excellent working order and very comfortable....  many good qualities.

LOVE:  After finding solutions (raising my tables, bed, etc etc) and useing the ideas that create a working relationship with the chair, I now loveeeeeeeeeee this chair.

For me, it started with gratitude (respect/appreciation) for what I have been blessed.  Knowing that, with a positive/respectful attitude, God would show me solutions.